Over the weekend I attended the "2nd Annual FHS Class of 1967 Saturday Before Martin Luther King Day Birthday Party." We had three January Birthday Babies in attendance to observe #60...fellow cat kook Judy, 9th Street Neighbor Rick, and Conlee, who blew in all the way from suburbia Detroit…mainly to attend his mother’s 90th birthday bash. But the most notable attendee of all was our class virgin, Kayle, pictured above.
Now, you might wonder why this mother of two and grandmother of one is considered a virgin. Well, that’s because last Saturday was (drum roll, please) her first time to step foot into the infamous Altoona Prairie Nut Hut (aka: A and B Tavern and the Mountain Oyster Shack in a few past lives) I don’t know why the heck she never made it to the Hut when she was in high school. She must have been studying at a convent every weekend. ;)
Well, anyway, Kayle decided to take the plunge before turning 60, live dangerously, and walk into the Nut Hut, but do you think she’d order any mountain oysters? No way! “I’m remaining a Nut Virgin!” she announced proudly, chomping on a (gasp!) hamburger. Why, the rest of us, horrified, came this close to taking a vote to impeach her from our class and excommunicate her from our table.
No amount of coercion would convince our Kayle to give in and go all the way with a bite of prairie nut. I even saved a morsel from my sandwich (large, of course) hoping she would change her mind, but she held steadfast to her high taste bud standards and remained chaste. The rest of us “nut sluts” gorged ourselves on hot fried mountain oysters drenched in yummy barbecue sauce. Mmmmm, oh, so good!
In between bites, there were plenty of laughs to go around the table. Teentown capers, old summer jobs gone wild, and recollections of Junior-Senior Prom pity dates were on the agenda.
By the end of dinner, our buddy Windy made us all swear that we’d never repeat any of this nonsense to his teen-aged son who apparently has been (mis)led to believe that his ol’ dad spent his own teen years wearing a halo, singing in the church choir, and doing good deeds for little old ladies.
By the end of dinner, our buddy Windy made us all swear that we’d never repeat any of this nonsense to his teen-aged son who apparently has been (mis)led to believe that his ol’ dad spent his own teen years wearing a halo, singing in the church choir, and doing good deeds for little old ladies.
When Kayle gets back home to Oklahoma, I suspect she’ll have plenty of crazy stories to tell her husband, Ron, who was not able to accompany her into un-chartered territory Saturday night but trusted her, nonetheless, to keep her virginity in tact. And, if he asks her if she had a fun time at the get-together, I suspect she’ll respond, “Oh, I simply had a ball!” --Well, maybe not in those exact words!
Kayle, you nutty kid, we’ll get you next time!
5 comments:
Funny!! You know those are MEAT, don't you?? I mean that right there is enough to turn me totally off. Why was this such a different experience than the El Dorado burger King? Maybe you are doing a new book on Dives and Dumps?? do you remember the Nut Hut before they sided it? that building was born way before we were. Hope you all had fun. You need to bring some sort of truth detector to these events.
Sounds like a fun time full of lots of laughs. I don't know about the menu. Yikes. I am a nut virgin myself. Yuck.
I only eat these babies twice a year. Takes about three days for my digestive system to return to normal.
LOL! I was dragged to a NutFest in Toronto once, & after much bantering I lost my nut virginity. It was surprisingly good, but I don't know that I'll ever be able to stomach it again. Something about eating that just doesn't seem natural!
Jaime's comment made me laugh. Don't know how many million times Main Street had the Mountain Oyster Feed signs up, but I never lost mine, either. Glad you and your group had lots of laughs though.
Post a Comment