BABY NAMES

Exciting news on the home front: my great niece and great nephew, Maddie and Boomer, are going to have a new baby brother or sister in 2009!! This means the fun has begun to find a suitable name for him or her. What a challenge! One certainly doesn’t want to be stuck with the lifetime sentence of having the wrong name.

Now, when I was born Nancy Elizabeth, a Nancy Sue was in the same hospital nursery, born six days earlier. A few years later we lived only a block from each other, and we were good pals all through school. When we were together, which was often, Mama Bore avoided confusion by calling us Nancy Sue and Nancy Beth…Nancy Elizabeth if I was in big trouble. She still calls me Nancy Beth…even when I’m not with Nancy Sue, who remains a good friend.

My brothers, of course, had other names for me. There was Nanny Goat, Nancy Eliza-bitch, E-lesbian, String Bean (that’s been a long time ago!), and Stupid. Standard fare.

A few select special people get to call me Aunt Nancy. That’s my favorite name of all.

I’ve never wanted to change my first two names. They go together just fine. My birth surname, though, is another story. Graham. How many times in school was I called Graham Cracker? Or Gray Ham? Ugh. When I got married, the last name became even worse…Veale. A piece of meat spelled incorrectly. Double and triple-ugh.

When I got divorced, I had the pleasure of changing my last name to anything I wanted it to be. I chose Evans, which is my mother’s maiden name and also the surname of my great uncle Jobe. Evans cannot be turned into something edible, as far as I know.

But back to the expected addition to the family. When Boomer, who is really a Brandon Matthew, was anticipated, I offered two suggestions: Blade and Blaze, both of which were nixed immediately, smirks included. I’ve also been trying to pawn off Strawberry Elizabeth to anyone I know who is expecting a girl. I figure if goofball celebrities can get away with naming their daughters Apple and Peaches, then Strawberry is equally as sweet.

Well, for the next eight months or so, I’ll be conducting extensive research to come up with the perfect name for this anticipated new life in the family. When I finally get my choices scientifically narrowed down, I am steeling myself for the same response I always get when I nib in with “helpful” suggestions: “Go get yourself pregnant and name your own kid!”