BEWITCHED

Yesterday Big Bore and I plopped in front of the TV to watch one of my favorite movies, The Wizard of Oz. Between the two of us, we’ve probably logged over 100 viewings of this classic. We can recite much of the dialogue, wreck the songs, and he does a dead-on impression of the Cowardly Lion (“If I were King of the For-r-r-r-r-r-r-est!”). Whenever I say, “Oh, Auntie Em, there’s no place like home,” I get all teary-eyed…whether the movie is on or not.

BB, who prides himself on being Mr. Logical, had to interrupt my grand finale blubbering yesterday, however, with a gripping question about the movie:

“Whatever happened to the mean bicycle lady?” he asked.

“Elvira Gulch?”

“Yeah. They never tell you what happened to her at the ending. For all we know, she could still come back for Toto.”

“No, she wouldn’t,” I protested.

“Well, did she die in the tornado?”

“I don’t know. She could have,” I responded.

“Well, I want to know what happened to her.”

“Maybe you need to write the sequel,” I suggested, sarcastically.

He didn’t react too keenly to that idea.

“Did you catch the oxymoron?” he then quizzed me, sort of changing the subject.

“When?”

“The witch is melting and says she never thought such a good little girl like Dorothy could destroy her beautiful wickedness.”

“Oh, that’s a good one.” I said. “Gee, I wish you’d been one of my English students. You would have been so smart in my class.”

“No, I wouldn’t have,” he chuckled.

“Why not?”

“I probably would have been trying to look up your skirt the whole time.”

Hmmmm. Now, that’s wicked!